Last month, I went cruising for the first time, to a place I've always wanted to go: Size matters. Alaska has 663,300 square miles. The caption: "Isn't Texas cute?" Funny. Alaska has only one telephone area code. The cabins don't have irons; they're considered a fire hazard. The ship has laundry service, but it costs more to wash your jeans than to buy a new pair. First stop: Downtown Juneau is five blocks long and looks like a Hollywood set, with Gold Rush-theme restaurants and souvenir shops. The most popular excursion in Juneau is the Mendenhall Glacier, Whale Watching and Wildlife Quest aboard a bus and a catamaran. There was a mini-bar in my cabin, but the last time I ate a Three Musketeers from a mini-bar, I had to miss a car payment. Each day, they slipped an activities sheet under my door. What famous baseball player was once married to Marilyn Monroe? I was starting to collect medals like Michael Phelps. The top tourist attraction is the White Pass and Yukon Route Railroad ride. The ship did a doughnut in the fjord so both sides got a close look. The ship had a fitness center with classes, like "Fab Abs" and "Legs, Buns and Tums" each morning. Go with someone - friend, lover, relative, mail-order bride, parole officer, conjoined twin - anybody. Bottom line, would I go on a cruise again?
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